


Carry On

by missobsessed22, NKNovak



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, F/M, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, M/M, Trans Character, Trans Female Character, Trans Male Character
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-12-09
Updated: 2018-12-16
Packaged: 2019-09-14 01:57:11
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 6,652
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16903932
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/missobsessed22/pseuds/missobsessed22, https://archiveofourown.org/users/NKNovak/pseuds/NKNovak
Summary: Yet another local catholic school has closed down. When being left with choice: travel to a far off catholic school or go to the local public school the Novaks, Senior Cassie and little Freshie Gabriel, chose public school. Despite what the catholic school kids heard public school isn't dangerous as long as you blend in and just kinda go with the flow, like Dean Winchester. However, there are a few creeps lurking the halls like the senior Zachariah who has a thing for new students and innocent looking freshies like Sam Winchester but with Dean in the school Sam doesn't have too much to worry about. It's Cassie that has most of the problems in this school, too bad Dean doesn't care about her.





	1. Chapter One

Dean didn't like school, he was popular but that's only because he was thought of as attractive and blended in with everyone else. And the people Dean blended in with he hated they were incredibly vain and only cared about other people when they were ridiculing them. However, this year was the worst. A nearby Catholic school closed down so a lot of kids from that school were going to the public school Dean Winchester attended. Just like in elementary school, the 1st period, Calculus, teacher made the new kids go up and introduce themselves. The Calculus class was small, it consisted of 6 people, three new people and three people who had been going to that school all four years. The first person to go up was a girl who had skipped a grade: Charlie Bradbury. Next was Kevin Tran, a junior who was taking senior year math. The last was a senior that Dean would later find out he had every class with.

Cassie Novak was really nervous about going to a new school. She'd had a hard enough time gaining the acceptance of even a few people in her previous school and now she had to completely re-establish herself and deal with ridicule and scrutiny all over again. She had seen the stares when she first walked in and kept her eyes down when she walked the halls, Although it was the first day and she already knew she'd hate it here. At least Charlie and Kevin were here, two of the few people that accepted her as she was. When the Calculus teacher was having the new students introduce themselves, Cassie hesitated to go up to the front of the room. Cassie hated the sound of her voice because of how deep it had gotten, while she did make it a point to talk in a higher pitch, she was constantly forgetting to readjust it if she stopped talking for a while. And it didn't help that her mom refused to let her take estrogen so things like this would start to fix themselves. "Hello, my name's Cassie Novak. I'm a senior, I'm 17, and I'm from Good Counsel Academy" she said, her voice raising in pitch as she talked. "You can sit down now Cassie" the teacher said before he turned back to the board to talk about The Cartesian Plane.

Dean overheard people talking in the hallways about Cassie, or Castiel Novak, as she was called in her previous Catholic School. They didn't have anything nice to say about her which is why it wasn't surprising to see her sitting alone at lunch. Dean usually sat with his friends but decided to his sister, a new freshmen, instead. “Hey Sammy"  
Sam smiled up at Dean. "Hey there Dean, how's your day going so far?"  
"Fine. Same old school all four years, how's your first day of Freshmen year?"  
"Great, all the teacher are just basically handing out syllabuses and explaining what high school is going to be like, nothing difficult. But, what's the story with the new girl Cassie? I've been hearing that name all day."  
"From what I've heard Cassie's trans girl, you know she was born a boy but identifies as a girl. A lot of people from Good Counsel who didn't know her well didn't know that cause at a Catholic school she was required to dress like the gender she was born. Everyone here seems to have some sort of opinion on the matter"  
"Oh. Well I think it's great that she's bold enough to come out as she is" Sam said, twisting her hair between her fingers and changing the subject "I really need to get my haircut" she commented, looking almost disgustedly at the incredibly long mass of brunette curls she had.  
"Why'd you want to cut your hair? You've had long hair for so long"  
"Because I hate it. I want it a lot shorter"  
"Really? You want to chop it all off?"  
"So? I want my hair like that. What's the problem?"  
"Alright Sam, whatever makes you happy I guess"  
Sam smiled a little, just kind of poking her salad with her fork. "Any new girls from Good Counsel you plan to corrupt this year"  
Dean stifled a laugh "Must you put it that way, Sammy"  
"Well the other way I could put it is are there any Good Counsel girls that you plan to fuck this year" Sam said, laughing lightly "I just figured the other way sounded better"  
Dean smiled and shook his head "Jesus, Samantha, no there are not"  
"Now was that so hard to answer?" she giggled softly "Are we still Marathoning Marvel at Alamo again after school today, or do you have another 'study session' with Lisa?" She asked, adding air quotes.  
"I don't appreciate the air quotes Sam and yes I am free after school"  
"I put air quotes and reword things because you know I know what the hell you do behind your closed door. My room is right next to yours, why the fuck do you think I blast my music when you have someone over?"  
"I get the point, Sam"  
Sammy laughed at the comment. "Okay, okay. Good" she said, noticing Dean's friends motioning for him "I think your crew needs you"  
Dean looked over and saw one of them motioning him over. Dean sighed, he forced himself to go over. He liked his friends enough but at the same time they were the most closed minded and meanest people he had ever met. The only reason he hung out with them was because, as Dean saw it, you need friends in high school in avoid being the odd kid out and he'd know these people for a while they were the obvious choice in freshmen year. Now, it was senior year and he'd stick with them since most of the time he figured he could spend most of lunch with his sister, and only have to deal with these guys in class for one last year. "I'll talk to you later little sister" Dean said before walking over to the aforementioned friends.  
Crowley smiled at the approaching Winchester "Dean-o, nice of you to join us"  
"Yeah, I was just talking to my sister, Sam" Dean said sitting down.  
"You know, I keep forgetting the cute little Freshie's your sister" Zachariah commented from his seat that was far enough back that he knew Dean couldn't directly hurt him from there. You see, most of his friends were mean then there was Zachariah, he was a creep, it wasn't too bad when he was younger but now he was 17, turning 18 come January.  
"Stay the hell away from the freshmen Zach!" Dean warned.  
"You couldn't keep me away from the seniors as a freshman, I'm not gonna stay away from the freshmen as a senior"  
"Then at least stay away from Sam or I will kill you" Dean said and everyone at the table could tell he wasn’t joking.  
"We'll see"  
"Oh stop being such a perv Zachariah" Crowley says with a chuckle, turning back to Dean. "Anyway, so what's your thoughts on the new guy?" Everyone wanted to talk about Cassie. Why not the newest Marvel movie? Or the drama going down in the Batman comics? Find the new episode of Dr. Sexy interesting? Dean would gladly talk about anyone those topics but no.  
"Which one?" Dean asked.  
"Who do you think? That Castiel dude that dresses like a chick"  
"Oh? Well I. . . I guess I don't really have an opinion on her, I don't even know her"  
"Really, you normally have people figured out with opinions and everything by day one. What happened to your game Winchester?" Crowley asked him, surprised by the response.  
Dean decided to take the spotlight off himself "Why Crowley? What's do you think about Cassie?"  
"I think he's just a boy who needs help. He's not a woman, he obviously wasn't born to be one, and he needs to accept who he is." Of course he was that closed minded and of course Dean was expected to agree with them or get evicted from their little group. Before he could say anything the bell rang. The group got up and started walking to class. On the way their one of the kids tripped Cassie. Dean walked by while some little freshman boy ran over to help her.

So, Cassie had been in school for one day and already she wanted to never return. While, this wasn't new, but she was tired of it. Cassie had to constantly try to ignore the whispers, but at one point during the last period of the day hearing someone say that she was just a confused guy who needed to stop trying to be a woman because it was stupid and senseless and ridiculous, she just picked up her bag and walked out of the classroom, going home because it was all just complete bullshit. 

Gabriel Novak, Cassie’s little brother, stayed in school for a little bit taking to a friend he made, Samantha. By the time he’d left and got home Cassie had locked herself in her room. Gabriel knocked gently on her door, he had noticed how rough this first day had been on her and he was worried about her "Cas?"  
"What is it Gabriel?" Cassie called through the door, fixing her bracelets and tossing a few things into her bedside table.  
"I just wanted to talk to you. . . make sure everything was okay"  
"Y-yeah, yeah everything's fine Gabe"  
"I know that's not true." Gabriel said through the door "You hear on the news about people who get bullied because their different and. . ." Gabriel trailed off.  
"It's okay Gabriel, I'm not going anywhere. I just want to be left alone for a little while"  
"Okay" Gabriel said before going back into his own room to work on his homework, he knew when Cassidy wanted to be alone she was going to be alone.  
Cassie laid back on her bed, closing her eyes. She was honestly more upset than anything from the ridicule that started already and she hadn't even been there a day. This was only one year she had to get through, she'd just have to push on through it, like she told her little brother she would. . . Pushing through it however proved to be more difficult as the days went on. People would use the wrong pronouns (him/he/his) when referring to her. In the lockers rooms during gym days her own skirt and shirt would be switched out for clothes that very obviously for a man and bracelets, rings, or necklaces were gone. Cassie didn't even try to use one of the bathrooms in school. 

One day after Calculus the teacher, Mr. Hightower told Cassie and Dean to stay back for a minute he had something to tell them. Cassie stayed in her seat in front of Mr. Hightower's desk and waited for the classroom to clear out and for Dean to come up front. "Dean, I was hoping you might consider getting some tutoring because your last few quiz grades have no been great and I want you to pass the Chapter test" Mr. Hightower turned to Cassie. "Cas, I was hoping you might be that tutor" Cassie did have the best grades in the class. Cassie didn't look up at Dean. "If he's willing I'll gladly help him out" she said sweetly, a small smile on her face. Truth be told, she didn't hate the thought of helping out Dean Winchester. He was one of the few people who hadn't been a complete jackass to her, even if he was just standing by at least he didn’t hate who she was. And he was really cute.  
Dean shrugged. Sure, he didn't want to be a social outcast like Cassie but he also needed to pass this class of he wanted major in engineering in college "Yeah, that's a good idea" Dean followed Cassie out of the classroom as he was going to government next as well. "I'm free during the week but busy this Saturday and Sunday." Sammy wanted to go out a buy a whole new wardrobe, she really was starting to like flannel shirts, so Dean had to go shopping with her.  
"Okay, just tell me whenever you want me to help you out and I'm there"  
"Do you want to start tonight? We can study for our Chapter 1 test tomorrow"  
"Okay, that's fine. At your place or mine?"  
"We should do it your place" Dean said a little too fast thinking about his father, John Winchester.  
"Okay, I'll give you my address later, just come over any time" "Will do" Dean said walking into the government classroom just before the bell rang to start 2nd period.

Cassie opened the door with a smile when Dean rang the doorbell "Hey Dean. C'mon, this way" she said, leading Dean down to her room.  
“Hi Castiel” Dean said following her.  
She let out a small breath. She didn't exactly like being called Castiel. "Cassie. . . I prefer Cassie or Cas"  
"Your name is Castiel so I'm going to call you Castiel"  
Cassie took a deep breath and let it out, just giving in because she could tell there was no use arguing it. "A-alright. Fine, whatever. Let's just get this over with.  
"Okay" Dean said walking into her room it looked like a typical teenagers room. The walls were light blue and there were a few posters of movies or t.v shows she liked on the walls. You could tell it was a girl’s room by the jewelry on the bedside table and the make up on the dresser.  
Cassie sat down on the bed and opened up the book to Chapter 1, motioning for Dean to come sit next to her as she started scanning the page.  
"So, tutor" Dean said sitting beside her "let's get prepared for tomorrow's test"  
Cassie spent the next two and a half hours helping Dean understand the different concepts much better, as well as trick to memorize hard formulas.  
"Thanks" Dean smiled "You actually helped a lot"  
Cassie shrugged "It's no big deal, anything I can do to help"  
Dean stood up "So, I'll see you tomorrow, Castiel?"  
"Cas" she mumbled under her breath "Yeah, see you tomorrow Dean" 

The two met two more during the week. Dean actually liked studying with Cassie but Cassie hated the way Dean called her Castiel and refused to use any pronouns what so ever.

Later, on Saturday, Dean and Sam left to go shopping for Sam's new clothes. "You're acting kinda strange, Sam" Dean said as he drove to the mall "You cut all your hair off, you threw away all your clothes because you all of a sudden want a dozen flannel shirts. Is this a normal teenage girl thing or are you acting weird all of a sudden?"  
"I'm not acting weird, Dean. And it's not a teenage girl thing" Sam insisted.  
"You're acting a little out of the ordinary, little sister"  
"Because I'm not your little sister, Dean. . .”


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger Warning: Implied self harm

"Sam, whether you like it or not, we're definitely siblings" Dean said wondering why Sam would say something like that "Besides, I'm an awesome big brother."  
Sam ran a hand back through her now shortened hair, starting to feel a little bit of panic. "D-Dean I need to talk to you"  
"Okay" Dean said pulling the car over and parking on a side street, he was going to make a joke about the fact that they were already talking but hearing the panic in Sam's voice, he decided against it. "What's with the emphasis on certain words? What's wrong?"  
Sam took a deep breath, refusing to look over at Dean. "O-okay, the reason I've been acting so different lately is because. . . Y-you know how the girl Cassie was a boy and now is a girl? W-well I'm that way to. . . I was a girl, I was born a girl, but I am like I'm a guy. I'm transgender" Sam explained shakily, not knowing how his brother would react to the statement. He didn't seem to have a negative opinion of Cassie but its always different when it your family.  
"Oh, well, now all of this makes sense" Dean said, of course he supported his little sister, or now little _brother_ , no matter what.  
Sam looked up at his brother cautiously. "Y-you're okay with it? With all of this?"  
“Of course”  
“You're the greatest brother ever” Sam hugged Dean. Dean was smiling on the outside but on the inside he felt guilty. He mistreated and misgendered Cassie for weeks, he didn't stand up for her when she was bullied, just stood by. But because it was someone in his own family he didn't even need to think about it he automatically treated Sam the same as always.  
Sam let go and sank back in his seat with a huge smile. "C'mon, I need my big brother's awesome fashion sense helping me pick out the coolest looking flannels to get" he said, looking up at Dean in admiration.  
The way Sam looked up to and admired Dean made the older brother feel even more guilty, he didn't deserve that look from Sam "Of course" He said pulling back out onto the road "anything for my little brother"

The two finally made it to the clothing store, Dean didn’t hesitate to buy Sam a shit ton of flannels to make his little brother happy.

On Monday Dean walked into Sammy's room to see him packing his backpack all happy to have his haircut and wearing one of his new shirts "Ready for school?"  
"Yep, and I feel great" Sam replied, trying to work a little on his pitch.  
Dean smiled "Good, let's go" Dean walked out of the apartment followed by Sam.

Once they got to the school Sam immediately perked up even more when he caught sight of his best friend, Gabriel. "Hey! There's Gabriel! I can't wait to show him my new look, I'll see you later Dean!" he said excitedly before he grabbed his things and bolted to go see his best friend.  
When Gabriel saw Sam he smiled "Hey Sam, you look different"  
Sam smiled brightly at the other boy. "Yeah, Dean took me out this weekend to get my haircut and get a bunch of new flannels. Does it look okay?"  
"Yeah. I like this new look"  
"Great! I'm glad. I feel incredible right now and I'm so glad you like it" he said excitedly "I really don't even care what people are gonna say, I'm much too happy today to care"  
"I'm sure people won't notice the much" Gabriel frowned "their to busy ridiculing and bullying my sister"  
"I really don't see why they do that, Cassie's beautiful and super sweet, she shouldn't be ridiculed because of what gender she is or isn't"  
"I wish everyone thought the same as you" The bell rang and everyone started walking into the school. "I'll talk to you later Sam"  
"See ya soon Gabe" Sam said before heading off to his first class.

Cassie found Dean in the hallway before first period started and stopped him. "H-hey Dean, I need to talk to you for a second"  
"Yeah?" Dean asked "What's up?"  
"I can't tutor you anymore"  
"Why not?" Dean asked, he kinda liked the study sessions with Cassie and they were helping him a lot.  
"Because I'm just done. I've told you more times than I can count to call me Cassie, or even just Cas and you won't listen, you won't use pronouns and when you do they're wrong. I don't want to deal with it anymore. I'm sorry, find yourself a new tutor" Before Dean could reply Cassie walked down the hallway into the Calc class, she didn't want to hear what Dean would say. She made sure to avoid Dean for the rest of the day, she had to go out of her way sometimes but it was worth just to not hear his voice calling her "Castiel." 

After school Dean knew Cassie went home immediately. So he decided to walk over to her house, that wasn't far away from where he lived, and apologize. Dean knocked on the door to the house, Cassie's mother answered and let Dean up the stairs since he recognized Dean as the kid Cassie tutored.He knocked on Cassie's door but said nothing.  
"O-one second mom!" Dean heard Cassie call back, she sounded kind of panicked. When she opened the door and saw Dean all the panic went away replaced with an annoyed tone. "What are you doing here?"  
"I wanted apologize"  
"And why would you want to do that now? You sure as hell didn't give a shit the last few times I've tutored you"  
"I. . . have my reasons"  
"Alright. Whatever. I accept your apology, can you please just go home"  
"Cassie-" Dean paused, he eyes wondered downward and he immediately forgot what he was going to say when he noticed blood dripping down her hand "you're bleeding"  
Cassie didn't seem to care she didn't even look down at her wrist. "Yeah, I know. Go home Dean"  
"Wha? What if you bleed out?" He gently grabbed her arm and pushed up her sleeve covering the cut on which the blood was coming out of. When he saw her arm he noticed a bunch of scars up her arm in various stages of healing.  
"I haven't yet" she said yanking her arm away and pulling the sleeve back down "and if I do, that wouldn't be the worst thing in the world"  
"Cas. . ." Dean had no idea how much this bullying (and everyone else doing nothing) would affect her.  
"Just go home" Cassie seethed, backing up a step.  
"No. You need to go to the hospital before you lose too much blood"  
"I'm not going anywhere. I can make it stop if I want to, and it can clot itself and stop if it wants to"  
"You can't keep cutting yourself"  
"I'll do to myself whatever the fuck I want to!"  
"This isn't going to end well, Cas, please"  
"Do you think I care how this ends, Dean?! I don't! It's a living hell being constantly bullied and abused and ridiculed just because I was born the wrong gender! I'm tired of it! All of it!"  
Dean was going to argue more but he was cut off by the sound of someone walking up the stairs, both Cassie and Dean looked down the hallway to see who it was, was it Cassie's mom who had heard them arguing? No. It was Gabriel. He noticed Dean standing to Cassie's doorway. "What are you doing here?" Gabriel asked, surprised and annoyed knowing Cassie hated Dean.  
Cassie kept the arm and had the was bleeding out of Gabriel's line of sight and replied to her brother's question so Dean wouldn't say something stupid. "He was just asking about our next study session, and he was just leaving" she said, looking over at Dean "Right Dean?"  
Dean looked between Gabriel and Cassie. He knew he would get nowhere with Cassie if he told Gabriel and Cassie probably still would hurt herself "Yes. I'll see you tomorrow for our test on Wednesday"  
"See you tomorrow Dean" Cassie said sweetly, the way she was looking at him silently saying 'thank you'.

When Dean got home Sam was already there. He was in the kitchen, shoving books into his bag, having just finished his homework. "Hey Sammy" Dean greeted. "How was school?"  
"Pretty good. A few people said some comments but nothing too bad. Though Zachariah's a serious creep"  
"What the hell did he say to you?"  
"He was trying to use super cheesy pick up lines and asked me why I cut my 'gorgeous brown locks' so short"  
"Ew. Did you tell him why?"  
"I told him it was because I'm a boy and wanted it that short, and he argued with me about my gender for about 10 minutes until I just walked away"  
"Yeah, Zach's a dick"  
"How was your day? You seemed a bit distracted at lunch. Everything okay?"  
Dean didn't want to tell Sam about Cassie, he was friends with Gabriel so he'd probably end up telling him everything. "No, everything's fine"  
"Alright! Hey, if you're not busy, would you be up for playing video games, watching a movie, or something? I already have my homework done"  
"Actually, I do have a lot of homework to do. Maybe some other time"  
"Okie dokie, maybe next time. I still need to practice Mario Kart if I'm ever gonna beat you" Sam said, he left to kitchen, entering the living room to go play the video game  
Dean, meanwhile, went to his room and started working on his homework. Although, he ended up mostly thinking about stuff not even related to Chemistry. Maybe he should have told Gabriel about Cassie. If Sam was cutting himself Dean would definitely want to know so he could try and help him. . . At least he was going to talk to Cassie tomorrow after school during their study session.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger Warning: Self Harm and attempted suicide

"Hey Cas" Dean said when Cassie answered the door. It was the next day and he had gone to Cassie's house for tutoring.  
"Hey Dean" she replied politely, letting him into the house and leading him to her room.  
"How are you doing?”  
"Fine. I'm doing fine." Cassis said, trying to shut down what she knew Dean wanted to talk about immediately. "Where do you want to start?"  
"I guess with 2.2" Dean said opening his textbook to the proper page. "Are you sure you're alright?"  
"I'm fine Dean, stop asking" Cassie opened her book to the same page as Dean.  
"You didn't seem fine yesterday" Dean pushed.  
"Dean, enough. I don't want to talk about me. You're here so I can give you a math lesson, that's it"  
"Alright, Cassie" Dean said "but I'm still kinda concerned"  
"Don't be, you need to worry about your Calculus grade more than you need to worry about me" Cassie and Dean went though the textbook for about 3 hours going over the topics for the test, Dean grasping it very quickly the way Cassie explained it to him.  
"Thanks again for the help, Cassie"  
"No problem Dean"  
"So I guess I'll leave" Dean started to pack up his books.  
"Yeah, I'll see you at school" Cassie said "Oh, and tell Sam I love her new style, I didn't get a chance to tell her it looks great"  
"Him" Dean replied.  
Cassie looked at Dean curiously before finally putting it all together. "So that's why you give a shit all of a sudden! Because your brother's just like me!"  
"That's not the only reason why Cas"  
"Really? Then please, explain your other reasoning because before yesterday you refused to call me by my correct pronouns and name" Cassie frowned.  
Dean dodged the question. "I'll talk to you later. I have to go" Dean said leaving Cassie's room "Bye Cassie"

On Saturday Dean was in his room working on an essay for English. It was just him and his brother that were home since his dad was worked weekends. While Dean was working on his essay, Sam knocked on the door and hesitantly walked in. "H-hey Dean?"  
"Heya Sammy"  
"Would you be able to take me to the store by any chance?"  
"Alright" Dean got up and grabbed his keys "but you got to start reimbursing for everything, you're cleaning out my wallet" Dean, of course, was joking. "What do you need anyway?" Dean asked as he gathered the rest of his thing and put on his sneakers.  
"I'm sorry" Sam said looking down "I. . . I need pads, I got my period"  
"Oh. Okay Sammy." Dean said walking out to the car with his little brother.

Once in the car Sam's head was in his hands, the good mood he'd been in all week completely dissipated because of the reminder that he wasn't biologically a man and he wouldn't be able to be for a long time. "I'm sorry to keep dragging you out to get me things Dean, I feel really bad"  
"Sam, I know all of this is hard" Dean noticed his brother seemed really upset, body disphoria was nothing Dean ever experienced but he knew it couldn’t be easy, so he tried to help Sam feel better "Especially now, I mean how many guys can bleed for days and be okay with it? I, and most guy I know, wouldn't be able to handle that crap. You're hardcore, little brother"  
Sam chuckled softly, smiling a little. "Thanks Dean, you're the best"  
Dean gave Sam the money to run in and get what he needed from the pharmacy.  
Sam sat back down in the car, smiling softly, putting the bag on the floor. "Thank you Dean. Honestly. You're the greatest brother ever"  
"I don't know if I'm the greatest ever but I'd definitely do anything for you"

The rest of the weekend was okay. Sam was still not okay with having his period to remind him but Dean kept trying to cheer him up and it worked somewhat. However, while Sam was doing better while Cassie was doing worse. She was drained and annoyed because she had to go out with her mom this weekend to help her mom shop for a dress for a bridal shower she was going to, and any time Cassie even so much as looked at a dress that would fit her, her mother said a comment about how the shirts and skirts she would wear already were enough. It was exhausting and annoying and she was getting really fed up.

On Monday, after the final bell rang Dean gathered his things and walked over to Cassie's house for another study session. When he knocked on the door to her house there was no answer. As he walked up the stairs he noticed how quiet it was in the house but with Both Cassie's mother and brother out he didn't think much of it. Cassie's room door was slightly ajar and he gently pushed it open. He saw Cassie, razor blade in hand, arms already bleeding, as she brushed the blade along her skin, making a gentle scrape on the path she was going to drag it and hesitated a moment, building up the confidence to end it.  
It took Dean a moment to realize what Cassie was planning before he shouted "Cas!"  
Cassie jumped, dropping the blade and losing it in the covers. "God dammit, what the fuck are you doing here Dean?!"  
"What are you doing? You're actually going to end up dying this way!"  
"I know! That's the fucking point!" Cassie shouted at him, tears falling down her face. "I'm done! I don't want to be here anymore! Life's not fucking worth living anymore!"  
Dean walked (more like ran) down the hall and grabbed bandages from the bathroom trying as neatly as he could to stop the bleeding "C'mon, we need to go to the hospital"  
Cassie shoved the bandages away, starting to dig through her covers. "No! I'm not going anywhere with you! Just let me fucking die! I just want to die!"  
"Cassie we are not doing this right now" Dean figured the girl was already weak from loss of blood "I'll carry you there if I have too. I'm not giving up on you!"  
Cassie ignored him and kept digging through the sheets desperately, trying so hard to find her razor.  
Dean took Cassie's arm, the one in which the forearms was cut the least and put it around his shoulders. He put his other arm under her legs and picked her up. She wouldn't be able to struggle to much, after losing so much blood "You'll thank me later"  
She looked at him angrily and tried to squirm out if his grip "P-put me down! G-get off me!"  
This time he ignored her, putting her into the passenger seat and making sure the door was locked before he started driving.  
Cassie dropped her head back against the seat, absolutely praying she'd lost enough blood to just die before they even got to the hospital. She was really light headed and could feel herself start to pass out and she smiled lightly, knowing that she'd be able to get her wish.


	4. Chapter 4

When Dean burst into the emergency room holding Cassie, she was limp in his arms. "My friend lost a lot of blood you need to help her now!"  
A nurse came with a gurney and put her on it. Dean tried to follow the nurse but he was held him back.  
"No. No! That's my study buddy" Dean tried to explain but it didn’t seem to matter and he was forced to wait.

Dean wasn’t sure how much time past before a doctor came out and told him "She's unconscious right now from loss of blood but you can see her, we're thinking she'll wake up soon"  
"Doctor, she Um- she did this to herself"  
"I know.” The doctor nodded. The scars on her arms were tell-take signs that she was depressed and this was a suicide attempt. “We put her under suicide watch so she won't be doing that while she's here"  
"Okay" Dean nodded, they soon reached Cassie's room, she wasn't awake yet so Dean sat down in the chair next her bed waiting.

A little over a half hour later Cassie woke up and looked around her surroundings, as soon as she realized she was in a hospital bed and not in some after life she ran her hands back through her hair and started crying again.  
Dean, who had fallen asleep exhausted after all the excitement that had had unfolded, woke up when he heard Cassie's crying. "Cas, you're awake"  
"I should have just done it as soon as I got home" she whispered "then you wouldn't have been able to save me"  
"Cassie, I understand that'" Dean started but was cut off.  
"No, Dean, you _don't _understand, you can't! I've been fighting for 4 years and the fights only gotten worse, I can't take it anymore. First chance I get I'm out!"__  
"But you have to keep fighting, always keep fighting and you don't have to fight alone"  
"Fine, give me one solid reason, aside from Gabriel, of why I should keep living in this inescapable hell that I call my life"  
"Because you're smart and kind, you have the potential to live a successful and happy life. You can meet someone who makes you happy, Cassie. Life doesn't end after high school it gets better after high school"  
"It will always be like high school, as long as people like your friends are out there making people like me miserable"  
"What friends?" It Dean a minute to realize she was talking and Crowley and his crew "Oh them. . . They're not really my friends, at least not anymore"  
"W-why do you care so much about me Dean, you wouldn't tell me. If it's not only because of Sam, then why?"  
"I'm actually decent human being, believe it or not" That wasn't sarcasm, he knew Cassie had every reason not to believe it.  
"Whatever Dean, just go home"  
Dean agreed, the only reason being it was getting really late, his dad was going to be pissed "Alright" he said getting up "I'll see you later"  
"Goodbye Dean"

__

__Around 8:00, 25 minutes after Dean left Gabriel ran into the room shouting her name "Cassie!"__  
Cassie opened her eyes immediately when she heard Gabriel's voice. Her heart snapped, the last thing she wanted was for Gabriel to see her like this.  
"Cas, what happened to you?"  
"A lot baby brother. H-how'd you know I was here?"  
"You weren't in the house and then Dean called me about 30 minutes ago and told me he took you to the hospital. W-why?"  
"I-uhm. . . I got dehydrated. I passed out and Dean found me so he took me in" Cassie says lying through her teeth, hoping to God that he didn't know the real reason. She pulled the blanket up higher, covering her arms.  
This got Gabriel even more upset "You still won't tell me! Dean told me he found out about your depression and cutting a week ago but kept it to himself until you tried to kill yourself"  
Cassie closed her eyes and bit her lip. "I was hoping he wasn't gonna tell you what really happened. . ."  
There were tears in Gabriel's eyes "You said you weren't going anywhere! Every time I tried to help you promised me you were fine!"  
"I never wanted to worry you, Gabe. I didn't want you to know just how fucked up I really was" Cassie said quietly, tears falling down her face again just like Gabriel. She couldn't look at him, she felt much too guilty.  
"No, you just wanted wait until I found you. . ." He couldn't bring himself to finish the sentence.  
"I-I'm so sorry Gabe. . . I'm sorry. . . I wasn't thinking, I just wanted to leave, disappear. I couldn't take the abuse anymore. . ."  
Gabriel looked down, tears pouring out over his eyes. He couldn't be mad at Cassie even though he wanted to be. "Why didn't you try to get help before it came to this?" Gabriel asked.  
"Because the teachers at my Catholic school offered no help, telling me, just like everyone else, that I was confused. The teachers at the new school ignored the bullying. And mom, mom would have probably told me I could get it to stop by getting over my stupid fucking phase! There was no getting help Gabriel!" Cassie was full on sobbing again. She felt horrible, not about trying to kill herself, but about how upset she made her brother. Cassie loved Gabriel and never wanted him to be sad or angry, especially because of her. That was why she always kept all her problems: depression, anxiety, dysphoria to herself, she didn't want to upset Gabriel.  
Gabriel bit his lip to keep it from trembling but it didn't stop the tears that continued to roll down his cheeks. "But I don't want to live in a world without you, Cassie. I need my big sister"  
"I love you Gabriel, I'm so fucking sorry. I made a mistake. I-I can't do that to you. . ."  
"Just promise me that you'll get help before you attempt to kill yourself again"  
"O-okay. Okay I promise Gabriel. I promise. I'm so sorry. . ."  
"I kind of understand why you didn't you did it, Cassie"  
"I'll tell mom I need to go to a therapist or something, okay? I-I'll get help. I won't try and leave you again. I can't leave you" Cassie turned her head and looked sadly at her brother. "And I won't keep anything from you anymore, okay?"  
Gabriel nodded "Thank you Cassie"  
Cassie smiled weakly and sat herself up, opening her arms to Gabriel. "C'mere, give your big sister a hug"  
Gabriel went over and hugged Cassie, not too tightly because he didn't want to hurt her by accident. Meanwhile, Cassie hugged Gabriel gently but held him really close, trying to hold back tears from thinking if she had been successful she'd never have been able to hug her brother again.  
When he pulled away from the hug, Gabriel checked the time. "I have to go but I'll see you tomorrow"  
"Alright. I'll be here, just don't be surprised if mom's killed me by that time"  
"She'll have to go through me first" Gabriel kissed Cassie on the forehead before he left.  
"I love you little brother! I'll see you soon" she called after him, genuinely smiling for the first time in what seemed like forever.


End file.
